If you think about it, most of life’s problems play out in a predictable manner: you have a problem that creates some sort of pain; you want to feel good and avoid the pain so you look for the quickest solution available. You get temporary relief and forget about your pain.osing the services of your best soldier can be devastating on many levels. Psychological effects, like depression and helplessness, may urge us to make desperate decisions, which can then create negative consequences for our long-term health.
For instance, if you have a headache you may reach for an aspirin, if you’re hungry you may look for the quickest snack or if you’re on the road, a fast food joint. Or if you suffer from heartbreak you may just look for the first person to love you, etc.
In the case of erectile challenges, you may find yourself searching online or at the doctor’s office asking: “What can I do to solve my problem immediately?”
The trap here is the allure of a quick fix, which instead of lightening your emotional load may just lighten your wallet by a couple hundred bucks while at the same time lightening the weight of your stomach as you vomit out those magic pills that somehow made you nauseous instead of instantly erect.
Surprisingly, the problem with this scenario is not the emotional pain of worthlessness, embarrassment, and loss of manhood but the attempt to escape it. As illogical as this may sound, it could be an innovative new solution to your problem; so let me explain.
Ride The Wave Don’t Fight It
When I first started surfing over 20 years ago, one of the first things I learned was how to use the wave instead of fight against it. Almost every time I fought against Mother Nature I lost but when I used her power I was able to gain the velocity to stand up and get “barreled” or “shacked” as we like to say in the surf world.
This is the ultimate experience in surfing – when you’re in the tunnel of the wave and feel nothing but pure bliss. It’s as if time stops as you glide through the cosmos with the rhythm of the universe in the palm of your hands. And… similar to sex, it’s quite addictive! (A good addiction at that)
In other words, when you feel the wave of discomfort from embarrassment and rejection or even more trivial waves of boredom and hunger, instead of fighting that pain by trying to numb it or get rid of it with instant gratification from some vice like food, drugs or TV, ride the wave for a bit and take a look at the bigger picture.
Specifically, when you feel the urge for instant pain relief, pause, take a deep breath and ask yourself one of the most important questions you’ll ever ask yourself:
What lesson can this experience teach me, which when realized will allow me to harness its power and catapult me forward to greater success?
After asking yourself this question and contemplating it for a bit, more often than not, what you’ll realize is that within a short period of time, that urge will pass and give way to a much wider range of choices.
Shortly, we’ll talk about that range of choices. For now, just remember, for discomfort from things like hunger and boredom the urge could dissipate within a few minutes but for larger challenges like sexual dysfunction it may be several hours if not days where you’ll need to ride the wave.
But this isn’t just bro talk for surfers either; this strategy of “Riding the Wave” has actually been proven scientifically to help you find a better long-term solution without the negative consequences of instant gratification.
Research shows that a willingness to think thoughts and feel feelings without having to act on them is an effective method for dealing with a wide variety of challenges such as mood disorders, food cravings, and addiction.[i]
In contrast, if you fight the wave of discomfort by trying to suppress negative thoughts and feelings, like self-criticism, worries, sadness, or cravings, this can lead to even greater feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, depression and even overeating.[ii] Ironically, this is exactly the stuff we’re trying to avoid.
Armed with this enlightening information, just know from here on out, if you suppress or fight the wave of discomfort by numbing your feelings with instant gratification, you’ll only create more pain for yourself. So before you make any desperate moves like buying some magical pills you may later regret, ride the wave for a couple of days before you make a decision.
If you’re at all doubtful of my suggestion, perhaps research from scientists at Princeton University will urge you to reconsider.
In a groundbreaking study on predictability, scientists proved that a very small amount of time delaying instant gratification can make a huge difference in helping you make a better decision.[iii]
But there’s even more good news when it comes to riding waves. Not only does it allow you to learn lessons, expand your capacity and get barreled in her tunnel of love but it also allows you to ditch that whinny little kid in the back of your head that holds you back from manning up!
Even if you don’t feel like you have a whinny little kid in the back of your head, chances are, if you’re human, you at least have remnants of inner child dysfunction that sabotages your results.
What The Heck Is Inner Child Dysfunction?
Inner child dysfunction represents the failures and traumas of your past, like getting rejected, abandoned, failing in sports or tests, parental abuse, tragic accidents, etc.
What’s important to understand is that these events actually hardwire your brain to believe you are unworthy, not good enough, broken or unlovable.
So if you suffer from these disempowered beliefs, when a challenge like erection dysfunction arises, instead of manning up and riding the wave, you may just opt for a blue pill or an injection of some pharmaceutical drug without really considering the consequences.
But this inner child dysfunction could also show up as the whinny little child who never grew up and cries out with thoughts like: give me more, give me more or I don’t want to work, I just want to be a selfish blob, sit on the couch and eat Cheetos.
So here’s the course correction: when you feel or hear the whiny little kid screaming for instant gratification, if you choose to ride the wave, over time, you’ll be able to silence that annoying little kid, man up and get barrelled!
While brain rewiring is a detailed subject I cover in another training called The Winner’s Mindset, just know that by repeating this behavior of riding the wave, over time, you will form a new more empowered belief and find yourself looking forward to riding waves.
And more importantly, you’ll be able to bypass the pit of self-criticism, worthlessness, and depression and find real solutions that fix your problem long-term. So remember this one:
Whenever you feel compelled to distract yourself with instant gratification, instead take a deep breath, man up and ride the wave!
Once you ride the wave and say no to temporary solutions like Viagra, it’s time to explore some more natural ed solutions that have been scientifically proven to completely alter your biology and get the big guy standing tall again. To find out more check out “Man Up – The Ultimate Guide to Natural ED Cures.”
References:
[i] Thayer JF, Hansen AL, Saus-Rose E, Johnsen BH, Heart Rate Variability, Prefrontal Neural Function, and Cognitive Performance The Neurovisceral Integration Perspective on Self-regulation, Adaptation and Health Ann Behav Med. 2009,37(2):141-153. Doi10.1007/sI2160-009-9101-z.
[ii] Segerstrom SC, Nes L.S. Heart Rate Variability Reflects Self-Regulatory Strength, Effort, and Fatigue. Psychol Sci. 2007;18(3)275-281. Doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01888.x; Taylor CB. Depression, heart rate related variables and cardiovascular disease. Int J psychophysiol. 2010;78(1);80-88. Doi:10.1016j.ijpsycho.2010.04.006
[iii] Berns GS, McClure SM, Pagnoni G, Montague PR, Cohen JD. Predictability modulates human brain response to reward. J Neurosci. 2001.21(8).2793-2798. Doi:10.1523/jneurosci.4246-06.2007
