All men experience impotence at some point in their life. And while the cause could be from a host of potential challenges and at any age, the embarrassment it causes can lead to a compromised quality of life and subsequent depression.
If it’s any consolation, you’re not alone! Not only do guys struggle with sexual dysfunction but women could, in fact, be worse off than men.
Interestingly, in a study from NHSLS, researchers found roughly 43% of women reported some type of sexual dysfunction as compared to 31% of men.[i]
So while a woman may never have to worry about boosting a steel pole, she’s still human, and as such, will suffer from sexual dysfunction, which means she’ll most likely have compassion for your plight and give you a helping hand (more on that helping hand later).
For example, if she has heart disease or is overweight she’ll most likely have low libido and her love tunnel will more likely resemble the Sahara Desert than the Niagara Falls.
Yes, women have plenty of sexual dysfunction and will need to look at some of the same root challenges men have if you are to get your team off the bench and onto the playing field. And if your partner doesn’t have compassion for your plight, you may want to invest in some couples therapy or reconsider that partnership and find someone else who does.
While this could be interpreted as more bad news, for someone with a “Growth Mindset,” this is a great opportunity to solve your problem and create a stronger relationship, so listen very carefully here.
To get your soldier to stand tall, restore your youthful potency and experience an exciting sex life again, it’s going to require a team effort. So remember this one:
An Exciting Sex Life Requires A Team Effort!
To do this, you and your partner will both need to commit to making changes, compromising, expanding your capacity and working as a team.
If you’re at all opposed to this idea, just know, it’s going to be an uphill battle. According to one of the foremost relationship experts in the world, Dr. John Gottman, if expansion and growth are not part of your relationship goals and one or both members of a partnership struggle with self-doubt, you’re relationship will be in a constant state of turmoil.
Gottman explains that someone who has “trained his mind to see what is wrong, what is missing and not to appreciate what is there… is what’s wrong 85 percent of the time in most marriages.”[i]
Essentially, if one person is insecure, with a fixed mindset, they will most likely be judging, disgruntled or dissatisfied with themselves and drive a wedge between you and your ultimate desired goal of a bigger capacity with more love and better sex.
Remember, there is no ‘I’ in ‘Team.’ It takes two to tangle and hopefully soon you’ll be doing lots of tangling and dangling.
For this reason, I highly recommend you read this book with your partner (or future partner if you’re currently single).
Have A Sex Talk
To make any strategy effective and release any unnecessary stress before sex, it’s crucial you have a talk with your partner and let them know about the birds and the bees of erection. And hopefully, since you’ll be reading this book with them (or buy them their own copy) this is a great opportunity to start the conversation.
You can preface a team-building request with something like:
“Hey I’d really like to ignite our sex life to a whole new level and I found a great book, would you be willing to read it with me?”
Clearly, timing is important when you actually have this talk. You probably don’t want to spring this on your partner during breakfast on a weekday when they have loads of responsibilities to think about. Instead, you may want to wait until the weekend or at night when you’re relaxing in bed.
If leading with a question sounds a little intimidating, try breaking the ice in a more subtle fashion by picking up this book and reading it in front of her, at which point she’ll most likely ask, “What’s that all about?”
Since most people are conditioned as children to love and trust those who read them bedtime stories, this could play to your advantage. Naturally, once you start experimenting with the strategies in this book there’s a really big bonus – a solid pipe and some amazing sex shortly thereafter.
Specific cooperative efforts and how to create alignment that leads to more magic in the sack is important so if you feel like you’re butting heads with your partner and stress is getting in the way I highly recommend checking out the “Winner’s Mindset”. For now, just know you’ll need your partner to buy in on this mission.
To get the full details on getting your partner to buy in and end the embarrassment of impotence check out “Man Up – The Ultimate Guide to Natural ED Cures.”
References:
[i] Sexual dysfunction in the United States: prevalence and predictors. JAMA 1999 Apr 7;281(13):1174. Laumann EO, Paik A, Rosen RC
[i] The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PH.D., and Nan Silver pg.265
